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How Much Damage Is That Doughnut Really Doing?


I have been thinking about this for some time now but have avoided blogging about it as I was worried about the reasons why it was bothering me and didn't want to appear like I was moaning for no good reason. After some careful consideration I have managed to get into words what I want to say and hopefully you will understand why this bothers me so much. It is something that I have noticed since attending markets with my stall.


I will say, before I go any further, that I am having a rant about the mindless actions of some adults and in no way is this the normal trend that I see. If you are offended by this blog then you are probably someone who needs to hear it the most.


So let me explain what I'm going on about...


I sell my jewellery and crystals at various markets throughout the months and I've noticed something quite strange and worrying.


Due to the nature of what I sell, children are always attracted to my stall (that is not what is strange, bear with me). Whether it is the pretty crystal name bracelets I offer just for the kids or the shiny tumbled stones or crystal carvings of all different colours, children just love to come and have a look at my display.


How lovely I always think to myself as I watch their little faces light up...


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Until their parents drag them away, not even giving a second look to what their child is trying to show them, saying there is no money for things like that and offers a trip to the doughnut stall instead!


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Okay, lets do a quick calculation.

1 x tumbled stone = £1.00 (example, some are more, some are less)

1 x doughnut = £1.00 (again an example, some are more, some are less)


Hmm, so what's going on?


Well I can understand why parents don't always want their children collecting more 'ornaments' for their already messy bedrooms which is fine but that isn't what I'm talking about here.


I have witnessed parents forcibly moving their child on from my stall saying "lets go and get a doughnut instead, that will be better" while the child is complaining that they really want to buy a crystal and do not want a doughnut. (I'm using doughnut just as an example in this blog, it represents all sweet treats. I have no personal vendetta against doughnuts!)


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What is this teaching these children?


Well I can't say for certain and all children are different, but it can't be healthy! I'm going with this...


By coaxing (or removing) a child away from something they like and are excited about, while paying no attention to it or them and offering an unhealthy treat in place of it will teach them that their views are not valid and that unhealthy, sugary snacks are the answer.


So what does this have to do with mindfulness?


Most of these parents who do this are distracted by technology while all this is going on. They have no idea what I sell because they are not looking. They are caught up with other things while their children are exited about something new that is in front of them. It breaks my heart when I have to witness this mindless behaviour. The disappointment on those children's faces isn't because they didn't get a new shiny object. It is because the people who they admire, love and cherish the most in this world have just rejected their excitement and views out of hand with no more than a second thought.


But they are children, give them a sugary treat to make up for it and all is forgotten right?


Wrong.


That child has just had a "lesson" on how his or her views are not important. How many of these "lessons" does it take to start having a negative impact on a child's mental health?


This may sound harsh but it's a reality. While we as adults are busy stimulating our brains with as much technology as we can because we have lost the ability to just be happy and content with what is happening in the present, we are teaching our children that they are less important and it can all be fixed with food! Not to mention the impact of them growing up learning that adults have a mobile phone constantly fixed to their face!


I am genuinely worried about the future generation and social media, but that's a whole other blog.


If you are someone who regularly scrolls through your phone while with your children please try putting the phone down. Especially if you are out for the day with them! Whatever is on your social media accounts or emails or messages can wait. Your children are so much more important than that.


Watch them, enjoy them, laugh with them and allow them to teach you how fun and exciting life is.


And if you don't want to buy them a shiny new crystal, make sure you have acknowledged them and the situation. Don't offer them a doughnut to keep them quiet so that you can carry on scrolling. Offer them your time and your attention.



If you would like to learn more about how mindfulness can help you, I have a lovely free Facebook group where I share daily quotes, talk about my own experiences, share meditation exercises and give you the opportunity to reflect on your own day/experiences. You can join here


If you would like to receive a copy of my free guide to a better nights sleep you can get it here, this will also activate several emails from me where you will learn all about me and my journey with mindfulness.


I hope you have enjoyed reading this blog. Why not check out some of my other ones here.


Lots of love


Fiona xx

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